Nice guy of the year

It’s been mentioned elsewhere, but The Daily feels obliged to make an early call on the first of our 2006 annual awards, with Richard Littlejohn’s absolutely extraordinary article on the Suffolk serial killer eviscerating all competition in the “nice guy” category.

For those who have not yet read it, Littlejohn declares that “the deaths of these five women are no great loss. They weren’t going discover a cure for cancer or embark on missionary work in Darfur.” The latter reference turns out to be his chance to make a joke about the missionary position. Tasteful. The last time The Daily checked, Littlejohn’s CV did not include advances in medical science or relief missions in Africa. Should he ever be brutally murdered, we conclude that it would be no great loss either.

Littlejohn dismisses blaming the pimps – apparently the women “were on the streets because they wanted to be.” Confusingly, he immediately declares that they were actually on the streets because “because even the filthiest, most disreputable back-alley “sauna” above a kebab shop wouldn’t give them house room” before finally deciding that they were on the streets because they were addicted to heroin.

All three reasons why the victims were on the streets nonetheless seem to add up in Littlejohn’s mind to a conclusive case that these “disgusting, drug-addled street whores” only had themselves to blame for being murdered, though he also pauses to apportion a slice of guilt to the victims’ families, and as is obligatory in a Mail article, to “gormless Guardianistas” for apparently deifying “celebrity druggies”.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, he doesn’t believe for a moment that people in Ipswich were genuinely upset at all. They only went along with a minute’s silence at a recent Ipswich Town game “for fear of getting their heads kicked in if they didn’t” presumably by the unusually violent Guardian-reading liberals who occupy the terraces of Portman Road on matchdays.

With such a typical display of seasonal cheer, goodwill and forgiveness, it’s no wonder that the Mail have been leading the charge to defend Christmas.


5 Responses to Nice guy of the year

  1. Chris Baldwin says:

    Fuck Richard Littlejohn. What a disgusting piece of shit he is.

  2. Nick says:

    Fuck Richard Littlejohn. What a disgusting piece of shit he is.

    Brutal, but entirely accurate.

  3. Benjamin says:

    Just Richard Littlejohn being Richard Littlejohn really. Over the top. Some of it is brutally honest though – in the sense that to many, the lives of these women won’t be a great loss.

    However, how do we get out of the current mess? Its a difficult one. I favour some sort of legalisation, but Littlejohn offers no solutions: just the usual bombast and condemnation which isn’t enough.

  4. HenryG says:

    Unless we tackle the drugs problem it will be very difficult to address prostitution in 21st Century Britain. These murdered women should not be defined by prostitution. I think the reporting of the death of ‘5 prostitutes’ partly dehumanises the women. They were all someone’s daughters. When the Yorkshire Ripper murdered prostitutes, there was a feeling of ‘what do you expect’? It wasn’t until middle class women were his victims did the police take the crimes truly seriously. Thanksfully we’ve moved on a little since then, but Littlejohn’s article shows how unpleasant and backward some people still are.

  5. Well, Littlejohn’s approach clearly is unpleasant and misanthropic – that’s what he’s paid for and he’s very good at it.

    But, unpleasant misanthropy aside, I’m almost as unsympathetic to those who’ve been suddenly awakened to the problems hard drug use and street prostitution by the actions of this killer, and now believe it to be a problem we can and should solve in the next few weeks with a raft of handy quick fix measures – assuming we can fit them in, in-between all the spoof displays of collective grief.

    The current mess regarding prostitution isn’t much different to the current mess a couple of months ago – it’s just more high profile.

    It’s possible that these events will encourage the government to enact the seemingly broadly sensible reform measures for decriminalising small brothels that it drew up – under that pioneering liberal David Blunkett – but never got round to implementing.

    That would be a good thing – as would a medical rather than criminal approach to some forms of drug addiction – but these are small pragmatic measures, there isn’t a clearly defined problem that can be solved.

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