Bank holiday papers in review

This writer is back from holiday and is seriously, seriously jet lagged / hungover from the free booze on the plane, so what better way to recover than to have a look at the silliest papers of the silly season on the August bank holiday…

According to the Guardian, the Daily’s least favourite drug taking, tax avoiding, knighthood taking, tory supporting, general scum bags, the Rolling Stones are in trouble for smoking during their Glasgow gig – breaking that nation’s excellent anti-smoking laws.

The Sun, which is almost always right on these things, runs the story that Blair will refuse to name a date for pissing off, and has come back “fizzing” with ideas from his holiday.  According to the Sun, “His stance crushed the hopes of left-wing MPs, union barons and leader-in-waiting Gordon Brown.”  Lovely turns of phrase, the Sun.

The Timeshas a boring “good day to bury bad news story”, this time about the GCSE results day being used to slip out information about skool standards.  Surely someone should write about papers using the ‘good day to use good day to bury bad news stories’ on quiet days.

The Telegraph reports that Ruth Kelly has waded into the extraordinary case of the Celtic goalkeeper, who was cautioned for crossing himself during a game with Rangers.  Rangers supporters seem to hate Catholics so much that they were mortally offended by this sign of faith that they enmasse complained to the Police.  I am biased though I suppose.

The FT reports that cuddly George Osbourne is considering cutting shares tax on the rich and greedy.  These Tories might get the hang of being cuddly at some point, but they haven’t got the fact that being cuddly doesn’t include cuddling fat cats.

The Guardian reports that NEC member Walter Wolfgang was spied on by MI5 in the 60s.  CND say they are annoyed but I would have thought Walter would have been grumpy if he’d found out he wasn’t important enough to be followed.

Exciting news for all those that hate the Lib Dems – Charles Kennedy is making a come back.  According to the Mirror, Charlie blames big boned Ed Davey and pint sized Sarah Teather for his inability to avoid getting hammered at all times of the day.  And in even better news Greg Hurst from is set to publish a book full of drink soaked anecdotes about Kennedy.

As per usual, there’s nothing interesting in the Independent.

5 Responses to Bank holiday papers in review

  1. Andrea says:

    Dawn Butler should be alerted that she’s not Brent South MP anymore and Sarah Teather replaced her there. Wonder who, in the Mirror’s mind, is Brent East MP

  2. Bishop Hill says:

    “The FT reports that cuddly George Osbourne is considering cutting shares tax on the rich and greedy. These Tories might get the hang of being cuddly at some point, but they haven’t got the fact that being cuddly doesn’t include cuddling fat cats.”

    Hmm. How many people pay into private sector pension schemes? Let’s guess. 20 million? And according to you they are all “rich and greedy” and “fat cats”.

    I think this makes you look a bit of a fool.

  3. Bishop Hill, at first I thought that your comments were quaint. Then I felt concerned about the amount of spare time you seem to have. You’re now looking more and more like a troll.

  4. Bishop Hill says:

    Sorry, yes, that was rather rude wasn’t it.

    I’ll rephrase the comment in a better mannered way:

    “The FT reports that cuddly George Osbourne is considering cutting shares tax on the rich and greedy. These Tories might get the hang of being cuddly at some point, but they haven’t got the fact that being cuddly doesn’t include cuddling fat cats.”

    Hmm. How many people pay into private sector pension schemes? Let’s guess. 20 million? You seem to be saying that these people are all “rich and greedy” and “fat cats”. Surely you can’t mean this.

  5. Nick says:

    There are lots of ways to boost pensions, but the Tories seem to have alighted upon one that happens to be massively skewed in favour of the very wealthy – in particular people who trade in shares. They will be the main beneficiaries and I think that’s what the piece above was referring to.

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