It’s official: Rochdale more inbred than Norfolk

Our East of England correspondent replies, rather defensively, to the news that Norwich MP, Ian Gibson, believes that inbreeding in the rural heartland is causing high levels of diabetes.

“according to NHS statistics, the trust with the highest rate of illnesses related to inbreeding is rochdale,” he says.

Why would someone who doesn’t a) work for the NHS and b) doesn’t live in Rochdale even know that? Anyone would think that our correspondent has been saving up that fact, just in case…

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2 Responses to It’s official: Rochdale more inbred than Norfolk

  1. Henry G says:

    For all those who’ve not seen the interview between Alan Partridge and Peter Baxendale-Thomas (of the Norfolk Farmers Union) on Radio Norwich, here’s where Ian Gibson gets his lines from:

    Alan: I’ll tell you what. You farmers, you don’t like outsiders, do you? You like to stick to your own.

    Peter: What do you mean by that?

    Alan: I’ve seen the big-eared boys on farms.

    Peter: Oh, for goodness’ sake.

    Alan: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there’s a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who’s also your brother.

    Peter: Look, have I got anything else to say here or shall I go?

    Alan: Well, listen, I’ll tell you what the point is. You have big sheds, but nobody’s allowed in, and inside these big sheds are twenty-foot high chickens. Because of all the chemicals you put in them.

    Alan: And these chickens are scared. They don’t know why they’re so big. They go “oh why am I so massive?” And they’re looking down on all the other little chickens, and they think they’re in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small… do you deny that? No. His silence, I think, speaks volumes.

    Next week Ian Gibson speaks out on reports that local farmers are making pigs smoke (and feeding beefburgers to swans).

  2. mathew says:

    previous message was stole from the sitcom ‘i’m alan partridge’.

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